Last Updated on November 3, 2022 by Turner Thornton
Am I married to a narcissist?
No one sets out to marry a narcissist, but it can happen more easily than you think.
In fact, narcissists are often quite charming when you first meet them. They make you feel special and important, and they seem like the perfect partner. However, over time, their true colors start to show.
Sometimes being married to a narcissist is something you live with. Sometimes you need professional intervention. There are also times when the marriage becomes unsustainable. If you’re looking for a Fort Worth divorce lawyer, you’ve come to the right place. If you’re looking for helpful advice or a good way to broach the topic, keep reading. We’ve put together a quick quiz to help you start the conversation.
This 1-minute quiz was built using the DSM-5 factors used to diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder!
What is narcissism?
Before we get to the warning signs, it’s important to understand what narcissism is. Narcissism is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Narcissism can come in varying degrees. On the low end of the spectrum, it’s a personality trait. On the other end of the spectrum, it’s a personality disorder called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
15 Signs You’re Married to a Narcissist
Narcissism is often used as a catch-all term for someone selfish or self-absorbed, but it’s also important to understand that not everyone who displays some of these qualities is a narcissist. A mental health professional is the only person who can give a true diagnosis of NPD.
1. They’re Always Right.
Narcissists always have to be right. If you try to argue with them or prove them wrong, they will get defensive and try to make you feel stupid or incompetent. This is because they have a superior sense of self and will rarely admit to a mistake. They believe they are better than everybody else, and they will do whatever it takes to maintain that image.
2. They Need to be the Center of Attention.
Narcissists crave attention. If you are married to a narcissist, you’ve noticed that they like to be the life of the party and are always seeking validation and praise from others. Narcissists love to talk about themselves and will frequently interrupt a conversation and redirect it back to themself if they feel like they are not the focus.
3. They’re Controlling.
Narcissists need to control everything in their lives. This includes their spouses, children, and friends. If you’re married to a narcissist, you may have noticed that they try and control your behavior, including what to say and how to act in public. If you don’t behave the way they want, they become upset or angry and may belittle you. Spouses of narcissists often just “go along to get along” rather than cause a scene or upset them.
4. They’re Selfish.
Narcissists are selfish and always put themselves and their own needs in front of everyone else. If you’re married to a narcissist, you probably notice that they rarely consider your needs or wants and expect you to always put them first. When they say “jump,” you are expected to do so. They don’t care if you are tired, sick, or have your own plans. Everything is about them.
5. They’re Jealous.
Narcissists are incredibly jealous of anyone who they perceive as a threat to their position or power. If you’re married to a narcissist, you’ve probably noticed that they often talk negatively about other people, especially if they are successful or have something that the narcissist doesn’t. They also may undermine or play down accomplishments or success in your own life or in the lives of your family or friends.
6. The Grass is Always Greener.
Narcissists always think the grass is greener on the other side. They are never satisfied or seem happy with their current life or situation, no matter how perfect it may seem. If you’re married to a narcissist, you have noticed that they often talk about wanting more or something better. They rarely appreciate the here and the now.
7. They’re Extremely Competitive.
Narcissists are very competitive and don’t play anything for “fun.” In their eyes, winning is everything, and losing is not an option. If you are married to a narcissist, you have seen their demeanor change when they compete. They take it very seriously and get angry or upset if they don’t come out on top.
8. They Lack Empathy.
Narcissists can be very callous and unemotional. They often lack empathy for other people’s feelings and experiences. If you are married to a narcissist, you’ve noticed that they don’t seem to understand or care about how you or other loved ones feel most of the time. They are often dismissive of your concerns and may even gaslight you or make you feel like you are overreacting.
9. They’re Dramatic.
Narcissists love drama. If you are married to a narcissist, you know they often create conflict and arguments for no reason. They may also have a very short fuse, and they don’t feel bad about blowing it. They may overreact to even the smallest things and then blame you for their reaction.
10. They’re Perfectionists.
Narcissists demand perfection from themselves and others. If you are married to a narcissist, you know that they expect you to be perfect and do everything perfectly. They may critique your every move and find fault in everything you do. Nothing is ever good enough for them.
11. They’re Braggadocious.
Narcissists love to brag about themselves. They will often exaggerate their accomplishments or talents and try to make themselves look better than they really are. If you’re married to a narcissist, you’ve noticed they love to one-up people, always purporting to be the best.
12. They’re Bullies.
Narcissists often use fear and intimidation to get what they want. They will strong-arm others to get their way. They may blame, shame or threaten others. If you are married to a narcissist, you may have been on the receiving end of their bullying behavior.
13. They Rarely Apologize.
Narcissists hate admitting they are wrong or have made a mistake. They will rarely apologize, even when it is clear that they should. If you are married to a narcissist, you know that they rarely take responsibility for their bad behavior and always find someone else to blame.
14. They Complain About Everything.
Narcissists are always complaining about something. If you are married to a narcissist, you know they can find something to complain about in even the best situations. They may complain about their job, friends, family, the weather, you name it. Nothing is ever good enough. By complaining, they attract attention, even negative attention, which is what they crave.
15. They’re Insecure.
Narcissists act like they are confident and secure, but underneath their bravado, they are usually quite insecure. If you are married to a narcissist, you may have noticed that they need constant validation and praise to feel good about themselves. They often fish for compliments by bragging about their accomplishments to get you or someone else to react positively.
Don’t Want to Be Married to a Narcissist? Contact our Fort Worth Divorce Lawyers
If you are married to a narcissist, you may feel exhausted, manipulated, and unimportant. You are not alone. The divorce attorneys at Varghese Summersett Family Law Group can explain your options and help you take the necessary steps to break free and move on with your life. Our attorneys have experience dealing with people with narcissistic personality disorder and will handle your case with the dignity and discretion you deserve. We serve clients in Fort Worth and the surrounding areas. Contact us today at 817-900-3220 for a consultation with an experienced divorce attorney.
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